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BEING SENSITIVE....PART TWO

Sensitivity is an issue which has different connotations, interpretation and different understanding. I believe people's background and experiences also affect their level of sensitivity. being sensitive to me means I understand the other person's needs and therefore act accordingly to ensure my actions are in due consideration to that person's needs. Also being sensitive could  mean you react delicately and more personal to different issues.  I see sensitivity as a good aspect of any human because you tend to  understand people a lot easier, care for both their immediate needs which are either emotionally, physically, mentally and spiritually. You put yourself in people's shoes, and the tendency to judge them only based on your own mindset diminishes. I think I'd rather be a sensitive person than not.  A lot of people may think that being sensitive makes you prone to hurt, pain and disappointments. But I strongly believe being sensitive makes you more acc

BEING SENSITIVE.. PART ONE

Being Sensitive is when one is able to detect or respond to slight changes physically or emotionally (even when the change is not obvious to many). These changes could be in your relationship with your spouse, family members, friends, colleagues, environment or anywhere you find yourself. No matter the negative side of being sensitive, the advantage supersedes the negatives. Being sensitive, you are able to understand the feelings of others and aware of their needs, and by so, you will behave in a way that will make them feel good rather than hurting them. The world is filled with insensitive people, that is why a friend could comfortably step on a friend's toe without filling a pinch about how the other feels, or you hear of a man cheating on his wife and do not feel that he is doing the wrong thing, or a business colleague cheating his/her partner...the list goes on. If the world could be half as sensitive, it would be a better place for us all trust me.  For Instance,

THE ENDLESS NEED FOR MATURITY

Maturity is important for everyday living. Dealing with life issues involve high level of maturity. It is not as simple as ABC but it can also be as simple as ABC. When you approach life issues with maturity, you are more in control and the very things that seem complex and stressful become as easy as you make them to be. From your relationship with your husband, to your relationships with members of your family and extended  ones, even to your relationship with your colleagues at work and friends, and life in general, approaching all of these with maturity can never be over emphasised. You enjoy more peace while you over look those things that can potentially get in the way of your peace and happiness, as well as develop a better reasoning/ acumen to see things through the Eyes of others.  With maturity also comes due consideration for others. You also learn to ignore a lot of negative signals purposefully put in place to cause aggravation.   We can go on and on...   Why not

PREPARATION IS IMPORTANT WHEN A NEW THING IS ABOUT TO HAPPEN

Change as often as it occurs in our lives remains a constant irrespective of our readiness to embrace that kind of change at that time in our lives.  Most often than not, the changes tend to impose themselves on us by creating life circumstances that we are not ready to deal with.  However,  changes do happen and our state of mind goes a long way to determine how we respond or react to the new things that spring up as outcome of changes we are faced with.  When preparation meets an opportunity,  there is a high tendency that success will be inevitable. In the same spirit,  it is always very important to expect and get ready for changes. Let me help you understand. Most people find  it hard to deal with expected or unexpected changes because they have not resolved the conflict between change and stagnation. They enjoy the routine, they do not adjust the itinerary,  the children attend the same school from start to finish,  same pattern of breakfast, same style of expressin

IBINABO'S HUSBAND TALKS ABOUT WHY HE LOVES HER

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Ibinabo Fiberesima is the president of Actors' Guild of Nigeria. Read below an excerpt of the interview by City People Magazine "The best is that she is easily the kindest person I know and one thing we have in common is that we both love children a lot. One of my dreams someday is to open up an orphanage and I already see her ding a lot of things I would love to do. She is an easy person to love, she is very dedicated and loyal. Something a lot of people don't know about Ibinabo is that she is a very good cook. the best cook I have ever met. My kids love her absolutely and her kids love me too. It's not something that happened by accident. I think this is just the right time and I couldn't have asked for a better wife" he told City People magazine. Continue... On how he copes with the negative stories about his wife in the media, he said "It is very easy for blogs or people to sit behind their computers and write things about somebody

A PART OF ALL YOU EARN IS YOURS TO KEEP

Arkad relates that he did as advised, saving a tenth of his income for a year, then investing that money with a brick maker who went on a journey to buy jewels to trade. He related this to Algamish, who castigated Arkad for his foolishness. "Every fool must learn" he said, "But why trust the knowledge of a brick maker about jewels? Would you go to a bread maker to inquire about stars?  Algamish then said, "He who takes advise about his savings from one who is inexperienced in such matters will pay with his savings for proving the falsity of their opinions. " Arkad then saved his money for another year, and he invested with Agger the shield maker who used it to buy materials; every fourth month Agger paid Arkad rent for the use of these funds.  Arkad spent these dividends on fine clothing and regular scheduled feasts. Algamish comments that Arkad is "eating the children of his savings" by not investing them. Arkad adjusted his behaviour and

QUOTES FOR THE WEEK

This week I have a few quotes that might help you in dealing with whatever challenge you are going through right now. The good thing about these quotes is that they were birthed out of life challenging situations, experiences, whether positive or negative, which makes it easier to relate it to real life experiences. Find below some of these quotes: Sometimes people come into your life for a moment, a day, or a life time. It does not matter how long they spent with you, but how they impacted your life in that time. You cannot control how people will treat you or what they say about you. But you can control how you react to it. Be a warrior, not a worrier. The strongest people are not those who show strength in front of us, but those who have fought and won battles we knew not. GOD is the only rewarder of good works.  It is better to tell the truth that hurts, than to tell that lies that soothes. Waiting time is very difficult and challenging. But also a

WHY PARENTS NEED TO BE FIRM

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To be a parent(s), you must have made up your mind to stand up for your right as a parent. A lot of people will want to tell you how you have not been a good parent because of their own ideology of parenting. An adage says, "all the five fingers are not the same". This means that we are all unique, likewise our children. You do not expect your elder child to have the same temperament as your second or last child. You must ensure that you have made up your mind to be a strong parent(s), who understands that raising up a child or children is a life time investment, and as such, needs your devoting your time, energy, enthusiasm, wisdom, and above all prayers into the life of your child(ren). From my research, here are a few of my findings why parents need to be firm while raising their children: Emotional Stability: When parents are emotionally stable, they will be able to understand the state of their children. They will be able to decipher by a mere look at the ch

LIVING ABOVE COMPLAIN

To complain is to utter expressions of grief or lament, censure or resentment, to mumur or to find fault. To complain is to let a problem dominate your conversation as a person, to criticize, to groan, to nag, to whine... The Bible tells us to do all things without complaining or disputing. If you are not careful, you will live life complaining and nagging about everything due to the pressure that comes from the environment. When you live your life that way you will get results that you never bargained for. God's prescription is for you to live life above complaining because it hinders your expected fulfilment in life.  The Israelites, as they journeyed from Egypt through the wilderness they continuously complained over one issue or the other. Constant complaints reveals your level of immaturity and blinds you from seeing the opportunities that you should explore because every life challenge is a design to make you a better person.  Our Life: Many complain about vari

THE GREAT LEADERSHIP CHALLENGE

If you want to be a leader who attracts quality people, the key is to become a person of quality yourself. Leadership is the ability to attract someone to the gifts, services, skills and opportunities you offer as an owner, manager, or as a parent.  What's important in leadership is refining your skills.  All great leaders keep working on themselves until they become effective. Here are some specifics... Learn to be firm but not impolite. It's an extra step you have to take to become a powerful capable leader with a wide range of reach. Some people mistake rudeness for strength...it's not even a good substitute.  Learn to be kind but not weak. We must not mistake kindness for weakness. Kindness is certainly not an act of weakness. Be kind enough to tell someone the truth, be considerate enough to lay it on the line and not deal in delusion.  Learn to be bold but not a bully. It takes boldness to win the day. To build your influence, you have to walk

INFLUENCE - A SOFT FORM OF POWER

Influence is a means of getting what we want without command or compulsion. Unlike power, which can be exercised only by certain people in the work environment such as managers and executives by virtue of their position, influence can be exercised by anyone at any level of the organisation. For example, a savvy manager who enjoys the power of position sees the wisdom of not exercising it. She recognizes that she can get more of what she wants by applying influence. Explaining her concerns by asking for cooperation to meet departmental needs will be more effective than bossing people around and oppressing them with your position. Influence based leadership is a powerful approach that has helped salvage relationships and work ethics that were almost falling apart. The approach to life circumstances determines the possible outcome. TRUSTWORTHINESS AS A FOUNDATION FOR INFLUENCE: It's obvious that a person considered untrustworthy will have a hard time influencing the deci

WISHING YOU A MERRY CHRISTMAS

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This is wishing all my readers a Merry Christmas. I believe you all know the reason we celebrate Christmas. Just in case some do not, I would like to throw more light on it so you will have an understanding of the meaning of our celebration.  JESUS is the reason for the season of Christmas. This is because of GODs' unconditional love towards us all. As the scriptures say in John 3;16 ' For GOD so love the world that HE gave HIS only begotten son, that whosoever believes in HIM shall not perish, but have everlasting life". JESUS is our banner of love. HE is the essence of our Christianity- our salvation. It will give HIM so much joy that you have a clear understanding why HE accepted to come into this world. It is because HE loves us. HE wants us to carry this love along with us and share it in ways that will glorify HIM. It is no coincidence that Christmas is a special period where every where is lively and colourful, people are happy and excited and also the at

DO YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR MAN LOVES TO HEAR YOU SAY?

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Hey Ladies.... I would love to share with you some real good stuff I got from my research. As much as we love to hear our men say sweet words to us, they are also moved by what we say to them as well. Though most men are expressionless unlike women, we show our emotions, just the way we feel, men are more of actions. Men are human beings and as such they love to hear you compliment them for a "job well done" like: I am proud of you: Because your man is always out there working to ensure that his family is comfortable, give him some kudos by telling him that. He will be so pleased to do more knowing that someone as special as you sees his efforts and appreciates them. Do not just act like that is his duty to fend for his family, after all, there are men out there, who do not even care about how their family are fairing. So, boost his ego and appreciate him by telling him how proud of him you are. You will see him in action. I love the way you take care of m

WHY YOU NEED TO LEARN TO MANAGE STRESS.....PART ONE

Stress is the way humans react both physically and mentally to changes, events and situations in their lives. People experience stress differently, but the reaction is based on your perception of an event or situation. It is often said that stress is a fact of life. Wherever you are and whatever you are doing, you might not be able to completely avoid stress but one thing I know you can do is to manage it, put it under your control to avoid the reverse which does not go down well. Changes in our lives-such as going to college, changing job, adjusting to a new environment, keeping up with child care and school run, preparing for a big event, moving into a new apartment can really be stressful. Most of the time, these frequent causes of stress are sourced from meaningful activities we have long anticipated for.  The first step in managing stress is to know yourself and carefully consider the activities that stress you out. Learning to do this takes time, and although you canno

THE POWER OF RELATIONSHIPS

Relationship is a condition of being connected or related. We were created to connect and do life together with people. God said "I will make him a helper..." This word "helper" doesn't imply a house help doing chores, but a person that connects with you in the journey of fulfilling your assignment. Man was never designed to be alone or isolated; man is designed for community, connection, and relationships.  Living without meaningful relationships is unhealthy and catastrophic. The fact that some folks have experienced bad and hurtful relationships doesn't validate a decision never to connect or relate to others again.  Today's social media era of facebook, twitting, and other social media platforms have twisted the effect of connecting so much that you might be hooked up on all the networks and yet experience a vacuum created by deep loneliness.  Key Facts About Relationships God First:  Fundamental, deep, meaningful relation

WE CANNOT STOP LEARNING...

The more you learn and teach, the more you break limitations and create greater platforms for life improvement....   Learning is one attribute of great achievers. Due to the constant change of the human body and the environment, it becomes very necessary to constantly renew yourself by learning new ways of doing things which I call ‘’survival skill’’.   Perceptions are formed as well as changed when you expose your mind to relevant information through learning and reading. The wider access to information you have, the more fine-tuned your perception will become. The life of continuous learning is one of the attributes and character of people who lead in different capacities because they understand that the moment they stop exposing their minds to updated information as the society and industry evolve, going obsolete will become a natural outcome of that intentional or unintentional  ignorance.  What this means, then, is that, if we are not constantly learning as w

LET US TALK...MEN. DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH IS LEFT IN HER "LOVE BANK?"

Someone said "You cannot eat your cake and have it". This is so true. And I am relating this adage to couples right now. Ok let us talk.  As a woman, I have come to know that women are very soft at heart although the experiences we have accumulated have given us a reason to toughen up and be rational even as we express love. But the truth still remains, you can only get from a woman the measure investment you make on her either as a positive emotional deposit or a negative emotional deposit either ways, the return will come shaking together and running over.. It amazes me to know that  most men irrespective of class and societal variations aren't aware of one powerful "source document" in women..." love banks". In black and white, it means an archive where emotional deposits are harnessed such that adequate responses are given to each deposit as they accumulate. Just the same way you deposit money into your bank account, you are very sure th

MORE ON REFLECTION

Disney was always dreaming of the future. What future dreams do you hold? Where. Do you see yourself five years from now? Do you ever take time out of your busy schedule to dream a little? Disney's vision tended to shoot for the star, yet were based on reality. Are your expectations set high enough? Too high? Don Schoendorfer had a long term vision that was broken into meaningful short-term goals. First one hundred chairs, then one hundred thousand chairs, then twenty million. Do you break your goals down into meaningful milestones-points of celebration? Everyday happiness and fulfilment one day, one blossom at a time. What specifically can you do today that will help propel you toward achieving your vision tomorrow? It is time for reflection. 

UNDER THE BUSHEL IS NOT YOUR PLACE OF EXPRESSION

"Work is love made visible, and if you cannot work with love, it is better that you leave your work and sit at the gate of the temple and take arms of those who work with joy. For if you bake bread with indifference, you bake a bitter bread that feeds but half of man’s hunger. And if you grudge the crushing of the grapes, your grudge distills a poison in the wine. For if you sing though as an angel and love not the singing, you muffle men’s ears with voices of the day and voices of the night. All work is empty save there is love- and when you work with love, you bind yourself to yourself, to one another, and to God".  Kahlil, Gibran. The Prophet.  YES! Under the bushel is not your place of expression.  This understanding came alive in me when I was pondering on why there are so many lives wondering about without direction, focus, and purpose for living. In that very deep state of concern and refusal to be limited in my mind, rather to go all out in the pursuan

LET'S SHED SOME FATS

Happy weekend folks, hope you are having a great time. It's my healthy tips again and I am going to list out to you a few and common foods that can help you burn those fats you accumulated during the hectic week as a result of junks. Below are some effective fat burning foods you can easily lay your hands on. Sorry I have no pictures,  but be rest assured that they are foods that you know very well, that was why I said they are common. Here we go: Green Tea- This is my best any day any time. It is rich in antioxidant. Earlier in my post, I listed  to you why green tea is special and good to you. You can check it out. Honey- And like Green Tea, Honey is also a good source of antioxidant. Water-  My second best.  I take a lot of water and I must tell you, it is one of the easiest ways you can shed those fats. Avocado Pear - If you have been reading my blog, you must have read a few of the benefits of Avocado.  in addition to its benefits, Avocado is good

YOU ARE MORE THAN

This is to that someone....... Who is battling with past mistakes Who has lost hope completely because your society has condemned you Who is ashamed because of some seemingly terrible failures Whose appointment has been terminated Who cries secretly every night asking yourself "Why Me" Who is heartbroken as a result of failed relationship Who is feeling unsure of herself because you have been terribly abused and assaulted  Who has been called different names because you refused to conform to a certain way of life completely different from who you are Who has  no job Who is in serious debts Who is going through one challenge or the other You are more than all these life challenging circumstances. Whatever you are going through right now does not determine who you truly are if only you believe that you are more than! If you can look inside of you, you will definitely find you. GOD has given each and every one of us the ability to overcome, to come out

IRON SHARPENS IRON

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A Bulgarian proverb confirms it "if you find yourself taking two steps forward and one step backwards, you have invariably mixed up association in your life" Most of the trail blazing achievements and opportunities people have embraced are traceable to the meaningful contacts they made that eventually turned out very yielding, causing them to experience untold increase and fulfilment...in the same vain, it is rather obvious that evil communication corrupts good manners.  It is not enough to come from a family that is known for high level moral rectitude, it is important you define the association that will strengthen the values you were schooled with. Indeed iron sharpens iron and so does a friend sharpens the countenance of his friend.  Think about what will happen if you choose to sharpen an iron with a wood...I have thought about it and I imagined two things will happen; the iron will get blunt and the wood will be damaged. It only becomes a

REDEFINING YOUR STANDARDS

"Experience is not what happens to you; it is what you do with what happens to you."  Aldous Huxley A baby Elephant is trained at birth to be confined to a very small space. Its trainer will tie its legs to a rope planted deep in the ground. Initially, the Elephant will try to break the rope, the rope is too strong and after series of trial at different times to free but situation proves difficult, the Elephant learns to live within the area determined by the length of the rope. It is surprising to know that when the Elephant grows into a 5 ton colossus that could easily break the rope, it doesn't even try because at birth, it could not and has consolidated that myth that reduces its capacity to explore a large land mass. In this way, the largest Elephant can be confined to the puniest little rope. This confinement obviously was born of prevailing circumstances "beyond" the control of the subject in focus. The subject in focus here is "You" b

LETTING YOUR LIGHT SHINE

There is an adage that says " If you are not a thief, do not walk like one". What a simple way of telling us to be as transparent as possible.  This is so true especially in this present dispensation where folks have become susceptible to judge the "next door neighbour" or simply wear an  impression.  It's really surprising that someone that barely has knowledge of either your persona or character make up, chooses to feed his ego by nursing a bad impression about you... These days, People are not patient enough to take their time and make a proper assessment about someone, before the echoes of judgement resounds.  That is the reason you should always portray the image of who you truly are...that doesn't mean your topic wouldn't be raised every now and then, but in the midst of that, the truth about your core attitude can never be watered down by any negative impression. A lot of people have lost great opportunities as a result of appe

ARE YOU READY?

To one person the world is in a desolate state, dull, void without possibilities of victories, to another the same world looks rich, full of meaning and endless possibilities. In the words of J. Oswald Sanders, "Eyes that look are common, eyes that see are rare". Very striking indeed. It's one thing to wake up and set out for the day, it's another thing to position yourself rightly to receive which entails being sensitive to the opportunities that come your pathway.  How you position yourself to receive makes all the difference...you can never see the sunrise by looking to the west, the choice is up to you. If you look at life the wrong way and interpret every bit of your experiences the wrong way, there is a cause for alarm. It is the same way a one thousand naira note can be too big when it goes into the church purse and too small when it goes for groceries...it is all a matter of choices and perception.  What you see depends mainly on what you look for

HOW WELL DO YOU KNOW HIM?

Rose:  I feel I am having the best time of my life. Diane: Really? How so? Rose: My fiancé, he is such a lovely man. He makes me happy. Diane: I knowww dear. It is so obvious that you are happy. Rose: I really thank GOD. Diane: Don't get me wrong  my friend, but can i ask you some things? Rose: (with excitement) Go ahead. Diane: How well do you know this guy? Rose: I know him very well. I know his family. I know where he lives and work. He does not hide anything from me. We are so compatible.  Diane: Ok dear. I am happy you said all these with confidence. How about his christian life? Rose: mmmmm, he is not really into the church things, but he is a very wonderful man. So harmless. I so love his person. Diane: But you are a very good christian. You feel that is not a minus on his resume? Because if he is not a christian  or not into the church things as you put it, will you cope with such a man who sees the wor

TRIED AND TASTED

There is no inventor or manufacturer of a product who will not first of all try that product before releasing it to the market for consumers to buy. For example, when Daimler brings out a new model of Mercedes Benz car, they take it to their testing bay for the car to go through several kinds of tests. They subject it to huge impact from external forces, thet turn it upside down,  they drive it in all kinds off simulated weather, and they drive it up and down slopes at top speeds: they perform very imaginable and unimaginable test on it...why? They want to make sure that it works before they release it to the public, they want to make sure that the product they are yet to release will stand the test of time irrespective of exposure to harsh realities.  Similarly, when a new kind of medicine which is meant to cure some kind of sickness or disease is invented, it is first tried on rats, cats, hamsters etc, and then they eventually administer it to human beings under very clo

WORDS MAKE WAY

The course of any life depends on the right or wrong use of words. Words create for us the path we take in life. Rich or poor, great or small, success or failure, our words are custodian of our everyday life. Life or death comes from the kind of words that we speak. There will be no need for suffering, poverty will be unnecessary if men everywhere will use the power of words to their advantage. No contrary winds and storms of life however great are strong enough to conquer the man who has the right words in his amour. We live in a world sculpted and created by the spoken words of God. We can only make our lives, change our environments and the things we want to see by the words we constantly speak. Great minds the world over rule by words. The right words puts us in charge over the circumstances of life as the wrong words imprison us and take us captives by the little events of day-to-day existence. We compel men, circumstances and events to submit to us if we use the ri

THE ROOTS CREATE THE FRUITS

Imagine a tree. Let's suppose this tree represents the tree of life. On this tree there are fruits. In life, our fruits are called our results. So we look at the fruits (our results) and we don't like them; they aren't enough of them, they're too small, or they don't taste good.  So what do we tend to do? Most of us put even more attention and focus on the fruits, our results, but what is it that actually creates those particular fruits? It's the seed and the roots that create those fruits.  It's what's under the ground that creates what's above the ground. It's what's invisible that creates what's visible. So what does that mean? In simple terms, it means that if you want to change the fruits, that is the results you produce and traits you manifest, you will first have to change the roots. It you want to change the visible, you must first change the invisible. The changes we expect to see in our lives wil

LET US SHOW SOME LOVE

Love is an unconditional commitment to an imperfect person. To love someone is not just a feeling whereby, when you feel low you love less or you love more when you are happy and excited and satisfied. Love is a decision, a judgement and a promise.  Love is active not dormant. Love is shown, given, shared. There is no love without giving. No wonder the bible says "for GOD so loved the world that HE gave! You go out of your way to meet someone's need, knowing that the person is in need without asking you. Money is not all the need one could ask for. It could be your lovely presence, your listening ear, your affection, your time, your good attitude, your sensitivity, your understanding and more. So it marvels me when I hear some people say "I do not have anything to give".  It is not all the time that one would be free enough to ask you for a help , but it takes love to be sensitive to decipher that your help is needed.  In the case of married couple

HOW MANY MEN KNOW THIS TRUTH?

Happy Birthday to the hardest working woman I know. My life source, the love of my life, my heartbeat… http://t.co/aUoHMN51wa How many men truly know that their wives are their life source? Food for thought.  Well done Darey Art Alade for your understanding of this mystery.  No wonder your life has no controversy.  A beautiful happy birthday to your lovely wife. 

I HAVE LEARNT

STILL ON REFLECTION!  I have learnt not to overlook certain seemenly little things. They appear little and some of them are insignificant either because they have become acceptable trends or people are not aware of them. Although some of these trends have become culturally acceptable, it doesn't negate the fact that they are nonsikitor and against ethical standards of an egalitarian society. In my relationship with people, I have learnt... I have learnt how to listen as much as have learnt how to hear. I have learnt to pay close attention to detail because I found out that it reveals my level of commitment and zest.   I have learnt how to express myself and communicate in a simple and clear manner even when I am being misunderstood,  misinterpreted, and misjudged. I have not only learnt how to acknowledge my wrongs but have embraced a teachable spirit that humbles me to learn from the best. I have learnt how to say "am sorry"..

YOUR CHILD AND YOU

Our job as parents is to train up our children well, give them the best, provide the right environment and also nourish them. Let us know that children are like seeds that came in a packet without label,  and as such we parents need to plant them, water them, prune them, feed them with the right nutrients and ensure  they grow well without them getting chocked with weeds and thorns.  The love we have for our children is unconditional.  That is love without any string attached. Love that came from no efforts of theirs at all. We even loved them before we set our eyes on them. As parents,  let us   Appreciate our children no matter their weakness,  which could be a sign of strength at the long run.  Help them overcome these weaknesses by helping them and showing them love.   Make your child feel understood and accepted. Do not always be in a hurry to pass judgement on your child. Always give your child room to explain him/herself. By so doing, you will gain  the trust of