Wednesday, 30 September 2015


Tuesday, 29 September 2015


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A friend of mine told me a short story about a young boy who went for a job interview. While he was waiting in a long line, he went to meet the interviewer's personal assistant. The young boy said to the personal assistant, "please I want to deliver this very urgent message to your boss". The personal assistant said, "My, if it is that urgent, I'd better take it in immediately"! And the boy's letter was delivered immediately to the interviewer. 

With enthusiasm, the interviewer opened the " very urgent letter" and exploded into bouts of laughter. The letter read, "I am the 22nd boy in line out here. Please do not do a thing until you get to me". This singular act landed the young boy his dream job. 

Can you tell us your thought about this short story?


Even if you render a service to anyone without receiving an immediate reward, one way or the other, that reward must come to you on this planet! 

Henry Van Dyke said, " There is a loftier ambition than merely to stand high in the world! It is to stoop down and lift mankind a little higher." 

You draw nothing out of the bank of life except what you deposit in it! 

A word from Mr. Emerson, "Cause and effect, means and ends, seed and fruit, cannot be severed, for the effect already blooms in the cause, the end pre-exists in the means, THE FRUIT IN THE SEED."


Monday, 28 September 2015


If you think you have no reason to rejoice or nothing to celebrate in life, then visit the hospital once in a while, and you will discover that while you are complaining of not having a cap, some people do not even have the head to wear a cap. You complain of no shoes, but some people have no legs to put on  shoes. While you complain of not having money, some people do not even have the benefits of one meal. Yet, even the sick also have the cause to celebrate, because they survived. 

So stop crying or complaining. You can achieve all other things, as long as you have life.


Years ago, in Northern Nigeria, a middle-aged man who attempted to sell his six month old daughter for six million naira (38,000 dollars) was arrested. When questioned, the man admitted to committing the offence but confessed to doing it due to poverty. The police officer that pretended to be a buyer, took the man and the baby into his private vehicle under the pretext of going to pay the man, but instead, drove them straight to the police station. A similar experience of a child that was eaten due to a great famine (poverty) is also recorded in (2 Kings 6:28-29). 

Hmmm..what do you sell in order to get money?  Or what are you selling in order to get money? Some sell their quality time with GOD because of their career or business. Some sell spending time with their family because they are so consumed with pursing money that they lose what matters most in life. Some compromise their integrity, sell their consciences, while some are selling their bodies because of the siege of poverty. 

My dear friend, no matter the situation or even in the midst of general world economic declines, insist that YOUR CASE IS DIFFERENT! Speak to your situation that "The LORD is my shepherd. I shall not want". Stay with GOD and do not give in to the temporal negative situations. I said temporal because they do not last, only tough people with tough faith do! Refuse to be chained by the evil desires to get money. Let us look up to only GOD, because HE is the only source of getting wealth. 

Enjoy your week and stay positive and in control!  You will make it!


Success does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. If you dwell on the sorry (pain) of yesterday or yesteryears, then you can never arrive in your glory of today. Rise from your pain and failure! Do not quit! 


Success does not come from winning. Your struggles develop your strengths. When you go through hardships and decide not to surrender, that is strength. If you dwell on the sorry (pain) of yesterday or yesteryears, then you can never arrive in your glory of today. Rise from your pain and failure! Do not quit! 

Sunday, 27 September 2015


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Friday, 25 September 2015


Today, please pay attention, let me share some thoughts with someone out there who may not be excited or enthusiastic about life right now. 

I have discovered that every human being, rich or poor, successful or struggling, sick or healthy, popular or unknown, etc., at one point or the other in your life, one day you will wake up and you may not feel ‎excited about anything at all. Sometimes you don't feel like seeing anybody or talking to anybody. 
Every day of my life, I'm now used to people ‎coming to see me or calling on phone and beginning their conversations thus: "Rev, I'm dying...," "Rev, I'm tired of this life..." "Rev, to tell you the truth, I'm confused about my life..." "Sir, I don't know what to do again, I think I've gotten to the end of the road..." Some will even say, "Rev, I don't know what the problem is, but I'm just not happy. I can't even put my finger on what is troubling me."
What I'm sharing here is that this lack of excitement or enthusiasm about life happens to everyone‎, once in a while, even successful people experience it. That's why sometimes we hear of celebrities committing suicide. 
However, those who are going through difficult situations in one area of their lives or the other are more susceptible to these feelings. Also, those who are Introverts (reserved, keeping to themselves, not used to talking about their problems with people) will experience these more than Extroverts (who are always outgoing, laugh more, surrounded by friends more etc). 
There is actually no problem having this loss of excitement once in a long while; the problem is when you allow this to become more regular or last for a long time, like a whole day, weeks or even months‎. That's when it becomes very dangerous. 
Moses was depressed many times: Exodus 5.20-23, he accused God of bringing trouble upon Israel and not rescuing them from Pharaoh. ‎Numbers 11.10-15, he even asked God to kill him. 
Elijah in 1 Kings ‎19.4, clearly told God, "I have had enough Lord," "Take my life." 
Jesus Himself, realizing the enormity of the sufferings before Him, said, "My soul is overwhelmed with sorrow to the point of death..." (Matthew 26.38 NIV). ‎
So, dear friend, whenever you feel down, nothing unusual is happening to you. But realize that all these men, picked up themselves and moved ahead with their assignments. They felt down, but did not remain there. 
No matter how difficult, complex, hopeless or how long your case may be, don't allow yourself to remain down for too long. David said, "Why are you downcast, O my soul? Why so disturbed within me? Put your hope in God, for I will yet praise him, my Saviour and my God" (Psalm 42.5 NIV). This should be our attitude. 
Wherever you are reading this, whoever you are, whatever is going on in your life, you have a choice: You can decide to wear your challenges like a cloth for everybody to see on your face and allow your problems steal your smile or joy. You can also decide to keep smiling, praying and hoping on God in the midst of so many contradictions or challenges in your life. 
CHOOSE TO SMILE! CHOOSE NOT TO BE FRUSTRATED! One day, God will say it is your Time to rise above that situation and that will be the end. 
Like Apostle Paul will say, "Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice!" (Philippians 4.4 NIV). 
God Bless You! 
Yours for Souls, Rev Dr Uche Dan Okafor.


Editor's Note: The release of the new film Captive has generated renewed interest in The Purpose Driven Life. The film tells the true story of the kidnapping of Ashley Smith by murderer Brian Nichols and how God intervened. The book plays an important role in the story. Below is an excerpt from the book.


Your birth was no mistake or mishap, and your life is no fluke of nature. Your parents may not have planned you, but God did. He was not at all surprised by your birth. In fact, he expected it.

Long before you were conceived by your parents, you were conceived in the mind of God. He thought of you first. It is not fate, nor chance, nor luck, nor coincidence that you are breathing at this very moment. You are alive because God wanted to create you! The Bible says, “The Lord will fulfill his purpose for me.”

God prescribed every single detail of your body. He deliberately chose your race, the color of your skin, your hair, and every other feature. He custom-made your body just the way he wanted it. He also determined the natural talents you would possess and the uniqueness of your personality. The Bible says, “You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something.”

Because God made you for a reason, he also decided when you would be born and how long you would live. He planned the days of your life in advance, choosing the exact time of your birth and death. The Bible says, “You saw me before I was born and scheduled each day of my life before I began to breathe. Every day was recorded in your Book!”

God also planned where you’d be born and where you’d live for his purpose. Your race and nationality are no accident. God left no detail to chance. He planned it all for his purpose. The Bible says, “From one man he made every nation, . . . and he determined the times set for them and the exact places where they should live.” Nothing in your life is arbitrary. It’s all for a purpose.

Most amazing, God decided how you would be born. Regardless of the circumstances of your birth or who your parents are, God had a plan in creating you. It doesn’t matter whether your parents were good, bad, or indifferent. God knew that those two individuals possessed exactly the right genetic makeup to create the custom “you” he had in mind. They had the DNA God wanted to make you.

While there are illegitimate parents, there are no illegitimate children. Many children are unplanned by their parents, but they are not unplanned by God. God’s purpose took into account human error, and even sin.

God never does anything accidentally, and he never makes mistakes. He has a reason for everything he creates. Every plant and every animal was planned by God, and every person was designed with a purpose in mind. God’s motive for creating you was his love. The Bible says, “Long before he laid down earth’s foundations, he had us in mind, had settled on us as the focus of his love.”

God was thinking of you even before he made the world. In fact, that’s why he created it! God designed this planet’s environment just so we could live in it. We are the focus of his love and the most valuable of all his creation. The Bible says, “God decided to give us life through the word of truth so we might be the most important of all the things he made.” This is how much God loves and values you!

God is not haphazard; he planned it all with great precision. The more physicists, biologists, and other scientists learn about the universe, the better we understand how it is uniquely suited for our existence, custom-made with the exact specifications that make human life possible.

Dr. Michael Denton, senior research fellow in human molecular genetics at the University of Otago in New Zealand, has concluded, “All the evidence available in the biological sciences supports the core proposition ... that the cosmos is a specially designed whole with life and mankind as its fundamental goal and purpose, a whole in which all facets of reality have their meaning and explanation in this central fact.” The Bible said the same thing thousands of years earlier: “God formed the earth.... He did not create it to be empty but formed it to be inhabited.”

Why did God do all this? Why did he bother to go to all the trouble of creating a universe for us? Because he is a God of love. This kind of love is difficult to fathom, but it’s fundamentally reliable. You were created as a special object of God’s love! God made you so he could love you. This is a truth to build your life on.

The Bible tells us, “God is love.” It doesn’t say God has love. He is love! Love is the essence of God’s character. There is perfect love in the fellowship of the Trinity, so God didn’t need to create you. He wasn’t lonely. But he wanted to make you in order to express his love. God says, “I have carried you since you were born; I have taken care of you from your birth. Even when you are old, I will be the same. Even when your hair has turned gray, I will take care of you. I made you and will take care of you.”

If there was no God, we would all be “accidents,” the result of astronomical random chance in the universe. You could stop reading this book, because life would have no purpose or meaning or significance. There would be no right or wrong, and no hope beyond your brief years here on earth.

But there is a God who made you for a reason, and your life has profound meaning! We discover that meaning and purpose only when we make God the reference point of our lives. The Message paraphrase of Romans 12:3 says, “The only accurate way to understand ourselves is by what God is and by what he does for us.”

Source: The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren.

Wednesday, 23 September 2015


A man who loves, cares and is right for you will not want to stifle your ideas, creativity or personality all in the name of being "the man". Rather he will seek to encourage you to develop your personality and your talents, because he sees you as  a complete, intellectually sound and unique human being whose ideas, convictions and perspective of life is as important to him as his own. A man who loves you and who is right for you will not view your strengths and assets as a threat to his manhood, but will rather view them as assets to him. 


Never walk anywhere with anyone who does not share your passion for the thing you are supposed to be doing together. Some issues can be corrected through teaching and leadership, but you cannot teach somebody to care! And if they do not care, they will affect your environment, ruin your productivity, and break your rhythm with constant criticism and complaints. 


Tuesday, 22 September 2015


One day, a man planted a tree and asked GOD for rain to help it grow. And GOD sent rain. Next, he prayed for sunshine to help it bloom. And GOD sent sunshine. Finally, he prayed for frost to strengthen it's branches. And GOD sent that too. But the tree died! 

Greatly upset, the man decided yo consult a master-gardener. "I ordered all the right things to make it grow. What went wrong? " he asked. The gardener took him aside and showed him his own garden, filled with healthy plants and trees. "When I plant a garden, he said, "I ask GOD to send whatever HE feels it needs; I figure HE knows best!"


Do not forget to sow another seed of kindness today, for you can never tell what your harvest will be! 


Imagine having a story to tell, but nobody to listen; or something to celebrate, but nobody to celebrate with. Stop thinking you don't need anyone or you are too important to reach out to people, you would one day. No man is an island. 



If you reach all your goals but lose the people who matter most, what have you gained? 

Monday, 21 September 2015


Dream big! By thinking of limitations, you create them. But when you pursue your dreams, you can go beyond them. Why? Because the GOD-GIVEN potential within you is limitless! 


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Sunday, 20 September 2015


All children, regardless of their age, pick parents as their number one role model. Hence, the example you set for your child is critical, because each day, "you're modelling behavioural expectations for him," says a school psychologist. The adage, "Do what I say, and not what I do," simply does not work when it comes to effective parenting, no matter how often parents might wish it were true. Children are like sponges- they model everything their parents do, and incorporate what they see into their own lives. It is important, therefore, that you set the right examples for your child. 

Set good and godly examples for your child. He/She needs to not only hear your rules, but also see you living out what you teach him/her. 

An author once said, "A child is not likely to find a father in GOD unless he finds something of GOD in his father". You are the example for how your child will live his life. He will not live a godly life except you lead him to Christ and model the Christian life before him. And as it is said, you can't give what you don't have. Meaning that you can't lead a good and godly life without being godly. 


...It takes consistency, determination and discipline to maintain a routine. Start with few tasks, and gradually add other tasks to your routine. With a daily routine, you are sure to complete each of your tasks efficiently. Have a great working week!


Character takes time to develop and to grow. 


Life is rough and tough and it favours only the tough, the strong and the fittest. Because since the day of John the Baptist, the kingdom of GOD suffered violence and only the violent took it by force. Do not allow situations to swallow you up. Rise up to your position as a victor and possess your possession. Look at the adversary in the face and tell him who you are! Child of GOD, you are a winner and not a loser; a success and not a failure!



It's a new week! May you soar like the Eagle! Amen!

Saturday, 19 September 2015


You are a success story sister. Keep soaring like the Eagle! Wishing you a beautiful birthday celebration and may your deepest longings be granted in JESUS NAME. Amen! 

Photo credit: Linda Ikeji's blog


ALL Great men and women have something in common, an
effortless mindset that 'IT CAN BE DONE'. They see goals not
obstacles. Never be afraid of thinking the best for yourself
and working towards it, WE ARE OUR THOUGHTS. Those who do
not have the mindset for Greatness will always fail even if
circumstances throw them up. Dream, admire success and set
worthy heights and never be discouraged. Every great idea meets with great opposition but WILL yourself to your goals .It
is ALL in the mind. Whatever you want wants you as well. The
mind is greater than you will ever imagine, it fulfills what it
pictures so keep it positive and progressive.


Hey parents, av got something for you. Our duties are to always give our children the best, help them, teach them, provide for them, ensure that they are well taken care of and so on...but sometimes, let us learn to assign responsibilities to our kids and you will be amazed at how well they have learnt from you....ain't you glad to hear that? 

So, I came across this article, simple ways you can build a closer bond with your children, and thought I should share with you. No knowledge is a waste. We keep learning and discovering new ways to raise and build our children up with ease to become who GOD has created them to be:

Let them choose
Let them decide
Let them pick
Let them take you on an adventure
Let them tell you stories
Let them read their favourite book to you
Let them tell you about their interests while you listen intently
Ask them questions about their favourite things
Let them pick out a meal and help cook it
Let them teach you something
Let them tell you jokes
Play their favourite games
Let them talk and talk and talk

Be careful to not be insulting to them or what interests them

Try not to be easily distracted

Be encouraging and correct them with love

Plan for the time to spend with them, do not shorten it.


Hello friends, hope you all are having a restful weekend. You deserve some good rest after the marathon during the week. So ensure you pamper yourself. Rest. Rest. Rest. Treat your skin for a more beautiful and youthful look. I do not play with my skin at all so I ensure I give it the right treatment when necessary.

So here's just a few tips you can try out to give your skin that glow.... 





Friday, 18 September 2015


Because something is good, does not necessarily mean it is right for you!


An old man in the woods came across a young lumberjack (a person whose work is to fell trees) working feverishly to cut down a tree, "What are you doing?" He asked "I am sawing down this tree", the young lumberjack replied. The old man said, "You look exhausted, how long have you been at it?" The young lumberjack replied, "Over five hours and I'm beat." Not yet ready to reveal that he himself had spent thirty years as a lumberjack, the old man said, "It looks as if your saw might be a bit dull." "It probably is," said the young lumberjack, "I've been sawing all day." Then why don't you take a break and sharpen your saw?"the old man suggested. "The job will go a lot faster if you do." But the young lumberjack replied, "I don't like sharpening and anyway, I don't have time right now, I'm too busy sawing!"

You see, it's one thing to work hard and another to work smart. Don't just saw; take time to also sharpen!

Happy weekend folks!!!


Procrastination gives your imagination the task of making the possible look impossible. It enables idleness and disables creativity, confidence and conscientiousness. 

What are the things you ought to have done before now? Arise! Shake off the grips of procrastination and do what you should do!!!!


Do not come to class unless you have done your homework. When GOD starts taking you higher, always prepare your speech, your wardrobe and your mind! Consult a trusted friend who understands where you are and where you are going. If you can't find one, read up until you grasp the basics. Use what you know to help you understand what you don't. Everything you will ever learn is related to something you already know. The more you prepare yourself, the more opportunities GOD will give you. 


You always lose when you: fight the wrong battle; fight the wrong person; fight at the wrong time; fight when you have no personal stake in it; fight because you constantly need to win in order to feel good about yourself; fight even though the battle has already been lost, but pride would not allow you swallow it.

Stay focused on your goals. Keep your eyes on the prize that GOD has set before you concerning your life, your marriage, your destiny, your ministry. If the enemy can't defeat you, he will distract you with side issues or disqualify you by getting you to make bad personal choices.  Either way, he wins and you lose! 


Tuesday, 15 September 2015


...Some"friends" feel very comfortable when they always tell you "sorry ooo it is well", or when they call and most times visit when you are in a very low state; they even tend to be helpful, but immediately GOD finally lifts you up, you stop seeing them because you are no longer vulnerable! If you find yourself in such situation, I want you to know that your so called friend(s) was never your friend in the first place. They were only taking advantage of your situation. 

Delete such person from your list of friends and move on. It does not mean you should keep malice with the person or not render assistance if the person comes to you for help, but at least you know better and you are wiser! 

Every body must not be your friend and you do not need to force friendship on anyone who do not appreciate what GOD is doing in your life! 

True friends rejoice with you when you rejoice and stand by you when you are low! Shout out to my very few friends out there! 

Be wise to still know who your true friends are, because it is not everyone you see laughing with you is genuinely happy with you!

Monday, 14 September 2015


There's nothing as sweet as having a partner who understands the things of the spirit even more than you do. It is only in science that unlike charges attract, not in marriage! Marriage is no science friends! When you are choosing a partner to marry, choose a partner with like minds! #folks am not a marriage counsellor, just love talking about it and sharing my thoughts with you.

Friday, 11 September 2015


There is a proverb that says that "The man is the head, the woman is the neck and wherever the neck turns, the head turns". My mom once said that the neck does not scream and shout and it does not put up a fuss, it just gently.....turns. As much as this is true, the head is extremely important. It houses the brain which tells the body what to do. So, if someone is brain dead, everything comes to a screeching halt. The rest of the body stops functioning. 

Likewise the neck, if it is broken, that's death, because the connection between the head and the body, where the other vital organs reside has been severed! GOD has given the man the mandate to be the head and that does not mean the neck is less important. 

In this beautiful life, I have come to realise that many a man has been changed and made socially presentable because of a woman. GOD in HIS infinite wisdom has made the man and the woman to work together, like my pastor will call it-partner in destiny. The man cannot succeed without his GOD-GIVEN wife, neither can or will the woman succeed without her GOD-GIVEN husband. There is no need to be in competition with your spouse, rather you should come together....and work together.... and succeed together!!!! 

The head has it's functions, and the neck as well. If the head starts performing the duty of the neck, that's a big error and if the neck starts performing the duty of the head, that's a complete "perversion of the divine order"! LET US HAVE THE UNDERSTANDING THAT GOD HAS MADE THE HEAD AND THE NECK TO WORK TOGETHER, NOT AGAINST EACH OTHER!

Thursday, 10 September 2015


You have been doing things your own way for a long time, and though you are tired, letting go is a frightening consideration. But you must let go and let GOD. Let go of the reins. Let go of the idea that you must control everything in your world or nothing will happen. Let go of the concept that you have to be tough in order to gain respect and influence people. It is absolutely not true. Listen, my dear woman of virtue, the truth is, you can be your soft, warm, wise, feminine self and still get everything accomplished!

Monday, 7 September 2015


Hello There....hope you all had a great weekend. So sorry I haven't sent in my health tips in a while...but here is something I have for you. I have always known about lemon  water, actually, it's one of my health and beauty routines; never to start the day without drinking my warm lemon  water. I thought it would be nice to share with you....

Here are a few of the numerous benefits of drinking lemon  water:

Lemon water flushes out the toxins in the body.

It helps in digestion, eases heart burn and bloating.

It keeps you hydrated.

It is an energy booster. It gives you an instant boost of energy and helps you start your day in a good mood. 

Because of its richness in vitamin C, drinking lemon water every morning helps to boost the immune system, fights cold and flu. 

Its high level of potassium helps to stimulate the brain and nerve function and also controls blood pressure. 

It helps to balance the PH level of the body. We all know that alkaline body is a healthy body.

It freshens your breadth and also helps to relieve tooth pain  and gingivitis. 

If you want to lose weight, this is your best option, because lemon contains high pectin fibre, which helps to fight hunger cravings. 

It rejuvenates and protects your skin from aging.

You can research more on why drinking warm lemon water is very important to your health. Enjoy your week!!!!

Saturday, 5 September 2015


Before I became the popular blogger that I am today, I was a struggling entrepreneur. I started my modeling career in 1998 before I turned 18 and started my company Blackdove Communications in 2004 when I was just 23+. Blackdove was a modeling agency/events company and I operated from a 2-room office in Jibowu, Yaba for almost three years.

In 2006, I decided to try something that I'd always wanted to do - become a magazine publisher. My dream growing up was to be a journalist. These days many people argue whether I am a journalist or not. I don't consider myself one. I'm a blogger, though being a journalist was my dream. In fact, I wanted to study Mass Communications in the university but I unfortunately didn't get it. I got English instead. But I've always had a love for writing, putting stuff together, informing people about what's going on etc.

In in 2006, I mustered the courage and saved enough money to publish my own magazine. It was called FM&B (Fashion, Modeling and Beauty) magazine because that was my industry at the time.

For my first edition, I used my photo ( left. It took me months to put this together and I used money I made from my business to print the magazine. I did a grand launch and really hoped for the best. After it was released, I didn't recoup the money I'd spent on it but I knew I couldn't become a successful magazine publisher over night. I knew the road was long and hard and I had to keep at it, I knew I had to print more editions before people and sponsors could take me serious.

Anyway, I printed my second edition (right) and didn't recoup either. The vendors will take the magazine and not pay you. Some would claim they didn't sell...some, you would chase for your money for so long you'd get tired of chasing them and then you leave them alone. And it was especially hard to get adverts for a new magazine. I would go to companies and sit in their offices for hours, hoping they would buy advertising space in the magazine, but for where? Lol. I remember I offered a telecoms company my back page and inner pages for N100k but they were not interested (now, na them they chase me with

But I managed to get a few companies to advertise (I talked about it here in 2008 and later in 2009) - it took months of being on the road - going from one company to the other, convincing them to support the effort - still it wasn't enough to print the next edition so I had to once again use my own money to print the magazine. It was tough but I didn't want to give up. I wanted to succeed by all means and I knew consistency was the key. I figured by the time I was on my fifth edition, some companies would take me seriously and start to advertise and by the time I was on my 10th edition, I would be a well known magazine publisher like my mentor back then, Mrs Betty Irabor of Genevieve magazine. So 10 editions of the magazine was my goal - but I didn't go past the 4th edition - though I paid part payment for the 5th edition but it never came out.

Something happened with my 4th and last edition (right) that almost broke me...and that inspired 'I'd Rather Be Selfmade.'

You see, right from when I was young, sleeping with men for money/come up was never an option for me. In fact, I found girls who engaged in such back then, disgusting. Now that I am more mature, I kinda understand it, I don't condone it but I understand it and I am not so quick to judge these girls. That's why I'm trying to help girls with dreams instead of condemning girls who find different ways to survive. It's tough out there, guys!

Anyway, for my 4th edition, I didn't have enough money to print it...and I was so sad about it. The magazine was ready but no money to print. It was going to cost me N500k back in 2008 to print 2,000 copies and all I had with me was N150k. I needed N350k and I was determined to print this magazine. I wanted it to succeed by all means so I decided to do something I'd never done before. I went to the bank to get a loan.

There was a neighbor of mine back then who I found out was the chairman of a community bank on Ogunlana Drive Surulere (all community banks have since shut down). So I approached him for a loan ...N350k, the exact extra amount I needed to print the magazine. I promised that I would pay back once the magazine was published and I was able to get ad money out. This was in 2008. After weeks of going back and forth and the bank staff coming to my office in Surulere then to see where I was operating from, I was given a loan of N350k. They actually made out the cheque to the printing press so the money didn't come directly to me. It was a short loan - just three months - and I was supposed to pay back with interest and I was so sure that I would pay back - I had three months and I was a hard working girl, I believed I could do it. But you see, sometimes, life does what life is supposed to do - it happens! With no just happens.

For some weird reason, I was only able to pay back N100k after the three months deadline. By now I was owing close to N400k including interest. I asked them for more time, and they gave me time ..and I managed to pay another N150k or so after a few months. After then, I became stuck.

My business wasn't going well...and for months I was struggling. The guys from the bank came to my office and told me I had a month to pay up or they would have to do what they usually do get their debtors to pay, that the reason they hadn't done it up until then was because of my neighbour relationship with their chairman. I promised I was going to pay and a week or so later, I was able to pay another N30k.

And then very early one Monday morning, sometime in 2009, my younger sister, who used to work with me at Blackdove, Sandra, quietly entered my room and told me that some men were looking for me, that they were at the door and that she'd seen them talking with the bank chairman. She said she suspected that they were police men.

If I tried to describe to you how I felt at that moment, I wouldn't be able. I stopped breathing for at least 3 seconds. I told her not to let my parents or any other member of our family know the men were outside (Only she knew about the loan and actually went with me to get it). I found something to wear and went to meet the men outside. To be honest, I was hoping they were from the bank and not police men but when they introduced themselves to me (three of them) I froze. They said they were men from the Special Fraud Unit, Ikoyi, and they had been sent to bring me to their office to answer for a loan I took from a community bank and refused to pay back. I was going to ride in their marked anti-fraud unit car - sandwiched between two men.

I didn't want my parents to know what was going on (it would have killed my mum) so I quickly went back in, put on more appropriate clothes, told Sandra to follow their car in my car so she would go with me to their office. I remember sitting in that vehicle as they took me to their office in Ikoyi, and wondering how I got to that point. It was like a nightmare. I couldn't believe it was happening. I got to their office and they made me sit down in front an officer who was handling the case. (Sandra was allowed in but she was sitting in another area.).

The officer brought out my case file, and said I was owing the bank N190k for almost a year and I wasn't going to leave their custody until the money was made available. You know, I've had bad days in my life...I mean, who hasn't? But up until that point, I'd never felt worse in my life. Nothing I'd ever experienced up until that day, sitting in front of this man, and beside other offenders/debtors, was anything close to this. Nothing! Even now, I can't even express how I felt that day, what was going through my mind. I felt like a failure. I remember my eyes welled up, because I knew I didn't have N190k and I didn't know anyone who could loan me. I started to explain to the officer, then I began to beg...and I talked and talked and then I began to cry. I couldn't believe the situation I was in. I knew it would break my parents hearts if they found out where I was.

I remember Sandra just sitting there and looking at me...and trying to be strong. She was broken to see me so broken but she kept it together. She started calling people, asking for a loan, I heard her from where I was sitting, calling friends and asking if they could loan her money. No luck. We were there for hours, eventually the officer came to me and said they'd decided to be lenient, that they would give me a month to pay the N190k back to the bank and failure to do so would be automatic arrest and I would not be released until the money was paid. They gave me a form to sign but said I needed a surety and without a surety I would not be released that day. I called a friend who came and signed for me. The officers told him they were releasing me to him and would also pick him up if I failed to pay up. Fortunately he agreed and that was how I was released. I was there from morning till evening and those hours were some of the worst hours of my life. Thankfully, other members of my family didn't immediately know this happened to me. (They found out months later).

But fortunately I recovered quickly. I knew there was no time to mourn. I had just one month to raise N190k or myself and my surety would be picked up and locked up.

Today, I have shoes that cost more than N190k, but back then, that was a lot of money to me...and I didn't have it. So for the next two weeks, I put myself on the road. I started chasing all the agencies owing me money. I ran up, down, to a hole, up a ladder and every where in between and finally raised the money which I paid back to the bank. It was an ordeal but it was finally over!

Months later, I raised some more money to print my 5th edition (above). The content was finished but once again, I didn't have enough money to print it. I had only N200k and I needed N500k. I wasn't ready to give up on this dream. No way! But of course I wasn't going to go to a bank again..lesson learned So instead I turned to the printers. I told them I had only N200k and would pay them the balance of N300k when the magazine was out. One printer agreed, took my money and half way into the job told me he couldn't go further without any more money. He basically held me to ransom. I pleaded and threatened for months and they wouldn't budge, wouldn't print without more money and one day I was like, 'you know what?' I give up! I'm done!' I told them to keep the money and the magazine, that I was done. I was just tired of it all. And that was the end of that dream.

Then I decided to face another business idea. I wanted to start a fashion, modeling and beauty school. This time I went to real banks (not community None, not even one looked at my business proposal. I was hoping to get N1million to start this business, but no bank was even willing to talk to me. After months of chasing this idea, looking for money etc, I also gave up on it and moved to the next thing!

A few months later, I shut down my office (after my landlady increased my rent - I could not afford to pay it). I gave out some of my office equipment, sold some and packed the rest of my things and went home. I was going to continue operating my business from home.

This was in 2010. I turned 30 that year and I remember having the worst day of my life - so far - on my 30th birthday. I'd lost my office, I'd given up on my magazine dream. My other businesses weren't doing well. I'd been hustling since I was 17 and I thought that by now I would have made it, but here I was at 30, losing it all (or so I thought) and starting all over again.

But you see, in all of it, no matter how bad a day I had, no matter how tough it was, no matter the other dreams I gave up on, there was something I never stopped doing, I never stopped blogging. I would cry, wipe my tears, pick up my laptop and blog. If I didn't have internet at home, I would go to a cybercafe, pay for time and blog there. This work/passion ultimately changed my life.

Sometime in 2012, when I'd started making money from blogging, a young lady talked to me about her struggles. She needed just N85k to start a nail and eye lash studio. She had someone who was willing to give her space to operate from, but she needed money for other equipment needed for the business. She told me that N85k would change her life and that of her family. She wasn't even asking me for the money, she was just talking about her struggles and how hard it's been for her to raise capital. She mentioned she'd approached a bank for a loan and no bank was willing to give her. She said she didn't know how else she'd get the money but sugar daddy wasn't an option. I remember smiling and I made the decision right there and then to give her the money for her business.

I remembered my life as a struggling entrepreneur, getting picked up by the Anti-Fraud Unit over N190k. I remembered how much help I needed and how little I got. How nobody could really help because they had their own issues and struggles. I remembered my dark days. I remembered all the people I begged to help me, to believe in me, to believe in my dreams. I remembered all the doors that were shut in my face. All the office receptions I sat in for hours. All the Nos I heard. All those who turned their backs. And how sometimes, I just wanted to give up. And I knew there were plenty girls like me out there, with ambition, with dreams, with fire burning in their soul...but who can't get far because they have no one to help, not just with money but also with words. And I made up my mind that day, that whenever I get to a position where I could help other young ladies with dreams and aspirations, I would help. Because I've been through it myself, I know how difficult it is to start or run a business in this country. That's why I want to focus on young ladies with dreams and good business ideas.

So far, I've touched 15 lives (see here)...I hope in my lifetime, that I am able to touch thousands more. God willing. This is the project I've decided to take up. For as long as I remember my over 8-hour ordeal at the Special Fraud unit in Ikoyi, I will always be here to help a female entrepreneur - if not with money, then with advice and guidance.

I struggled o. I used to do an annual fashion show called Style Night. I did it from 2004 to 2010. (see some pics here, and here here). I also tried to do a reality show called Nigeria's top model search with Linda sponsor. I give Catwalk with Linda TV sponsor, I give up! Lol

In 2010, I wrote an inspirational book titled 'It Takes You' to encourage people not to give up on their dreams. I spent a lot of money to get this published because being an author was one of my dreams and I was determined to realize that dream. I made it come through!...:-)

I was still working on my dreams when companies started asking me for advert rates for my blog. I created my ad rate in early 2011 and my life hasn't been the same since. I left everything else and concentrated on this. Sandra is now the CEO of Blackdove...:-)

Sandra and I pictured above (She worked with me at Blackdove from 2004 when I started until 2011 when she took over the company. She was my rock for years! I doubt I love anyone more. She's older than my other sister you all know, Laura. )

Anyway, I plan to do all I can to help as many young women as I can. I'm using my money for now but I would eventually talk to rich people and corporate bodies to get involved and raise as much as it's possible as start-up capital for young female entrepreneurs. Too many unemployed individuals in this country. Let's start creating jobs instead of always looking for one. Plus I don't want anti-fraud people coming to knock on your or you turning to men. I hope all your dreams come true...and I hope no matter how tough it gets, you never give up. 

Source: Linda Ikeji's blog