You always lose when you: fight the wrong battle; fight the wrong person; fight at the wrong time; fight when you have no personal stake in it; fight because you constantly need to win in order to feel good about yourself; fight even though the battle has already been lost, but pride would not allow you swallow it.
Stay focused on your goals. Keep your eyes on the prize that GOD has set before you concerning your life, your marriage, your destiny, your ministry. If the enemy can't defeat you, he will distract you with side issues or disqualify you by getting you to make bad personal choices. Either way, he wins and you lose!