You do not need to gain spiritual growth through pain. While pain may indeed lead to spiritual gain, pain is never necessary. Pain is a side effect of your feelings which have manifested in your reality.
Nothing that has happened in your past need to affect your future. The fact that you are where you are now, is what you might appreciate. How you feel is the only thing that really matters.
You have control over how you feel as long as you practice and exercise your mind. You can choose the thoughts you think. You can choose to look at things you like and feel appreciation. You can expect to feel good. You are supposed to feel good. Start right now demanding to feel good and do not allow yourself to dwell on thoughts that feel bad.
We all are intended to grow spiritually in this lifetime, but should do so joyously and not through pains and terrible experiences.
The truth is, you need to hear this:You are as worthy as any who has ever lived. You are unique to all the universe. You have been given free will and can do, be, and have anything you want. You can choose to feel good or bad- and I suppose your choice is to feel good! Your reality is simply the reflection of your predominance of thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. You have the power to change them all.
Decide now to feel good and make this your only work.
You are loved more than you can imagine.