ONE OF THE REASONS WHY THE DYNAMICS OF SIBLINGHOOD CHANGE.

I was somewhere the other day where three married men and a married lady were discussing bitterly about how their younger brothers got married and the dynamics of their siblinghood changed.

They said and I quote, "the eldest ones will get married and carry these boys along and make sure they are fine, but as soon as they get married, their wives come up with ideas like, your sisters don't like me, I don't like the way he/she looked at me, I'm your wife, you must stand with me, and so on."

I listened until I interrupted them with this question, "but why is it so? Their answer was and I quote," women are necessary evil." And my response was, I quote, "Wow! really? So, a woman comes into a family that's kneated together and tears it apart just like that?" They said, it's that easy where the man does not let the woman know from the beginning how kneated he is with his family and also how much the man entertains his wife when she is talking ill about any of his family members or family as a whole or the man is not emotionally strong. 

I feel that, in most cases, this wrong happens when the man's family are too open and welcoming that they throw caution to the wind or they marry a good woman from a bad family or they marry a woman who has so much of her past or traumas to deal with. There are so many reasons why this happen.

Why should a woman come into a family that's kneated together (of course, siblings do have misunderstandings) and feels threatened by the peace and unity amongst her husband and his siblings? Why should a woman try so hard to label her in laws that welcomed her with open hearts and hands bad? That's terrible! 

Both men and women should do better, please! 

There's also this scenario where the man marries a  good woman and she's genuinely right at her observations about how her in laws treat her, he never listens to the cries of the wife—so she had to deal with it or find a way to live "in peace" with it.

Yet again, the bad ones come in and sow these evil seeds so easily in the hearts of these men that they fall for it. They pull these men away from their families—while they work so hard to pull the men towards their own family!

Wow, indeed, as they say, this life no balance. But e balance for me!

Husbands, love your wives, but you don't have to rob Peter to pay Paul. Wisdom is strongly needed when you set out to marry. A man should leave his father and mother and cling to his wife does not mean you should throw away your family that brought you up or treat them as strangers just to make your wife happy. That's not right. There should be a good balance here.

If unity is easily broken, it means there was no genuine unity in the first place or the bond was not strong enough or the enemy was stronger than you or wisdom is not being used or everything was done at  face value—either of these and more. 

It's very hard to notice manipulative people, but very easy to fall for them.

Remember that among the 7 things that GOD hates, someone who sows seed of discord among brethren is one of them.

Let's all do better and embrace peace and love when you find it.

Let genuine love lead the way. 

Hold on to the love and unity you share with your family, even in marriage.

Behold, how good and pleasant it is when brethren dwell in unity! ❤️❤️❤️